Dragon Mage, Crystal Explorer

I have to admit...being a bastard is hard.

It is hard in the sense that it’s really difficult to be a bastard to get your point across and to stand for what is right. Doing something wrong to set things right is really difficult.

Why am I writing about it? Even though I’m strict and a bastard at times, it is also hard on me. I can hear other people’s thoughts. I can sense their emotions. I can empathize with their pain for my actions. But there are times when it is necessary. For all of us, I think.

I just got off the tricycle about 15 minutes ago. The standard fare for a special trip is 32 pesos (8 pesos per person). However, instead of giving the proper fare, I only gave 24 pesos. Why? Because the driver let some guy hitch a ride with me, without even giving the courtesy of asking me if he can hitch a ride. Even though the driver seems to be friends with the guy, it’s not fair to make me pay the whole fare.

As I walked away from the tricycle, I can sense his annoyance and anger. At the same time, he couldn’t do anything because it was his fault for letting someone hitch a ride in the first place. And deep inside me, it felt bad to do it. But at the same time, I couldn’t let it slide. I’m tired, in a bad mood because of the unusually long jeepney ride I had to take, and then I get treated like that.

In the past, I would just ignore it, thinking that these people are just trying to earn a living, and what is 8 pesos compared to my salary. But now, I believe in making an honest living. When honesty is involved in making money, it can bring you joy and peace of mind. No matter how small it is. And as a paying customer, I also believe in paying the right amount for the right service.

They say life’s not fair. So why not change it? Especially if you have the means to do so.

But for all my love for Minecraft, I can't seem to get myself into the mood to write or port mods, especially now that Redpower 2PR5 is still missing the Bukkit port. Despite my anxiety, I can't open up my IDE and start coding.

Why?

If there's anything I don't like about the Minecraft community, it's the drama. One good example is flowerchild, the one responsible for the Better than Wolves mod. He's also responsible about the dramas regarding the Technic Pack and Minecraft Forge. The statement about withdrawing from Minecraft Forge is a good example:

http://gamegenus.blogspot.com/2011/11/flowerchild-withdraws-from-minecraft.html

Sigh. Bloated egos.

To those who've been waiting for an update to MinecartDelivery, I'm sorry for not having released updates. Aside from the drama shit, I'm currently busy with my day job. Which is also why I released MinecartDelivery's source code under the Apache License: so that anyone interested can modify and redistribute it, as long as they follow the rules of the Apache License.

Well, not anymore.

I've started a new blog called Heuristic Magick. It's purpose: to make magick more accessible to mere mortals.

Magick is a field considered by many to be broad, evil, unscientific, esoteric, etc.. But most people don't realize that we also use it everyday.

I've been researching on this stuff since my teenage years. It would be a waste if this knowledge will just be stored in an archive.

Start here if you're interested: http://heuristicmagick.tumblr.com/about

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Apparently, a google search for this phrase yields about 2M pages. Wow.

After the events that happened back in 2008, I’ve felt that I’ve been constantly changing. It has become the one thing that has been constant up to now. Change.

I’ve learned to embrace change. It’s the only thing constant in life. But at the same time, I sometimes get the feeling that I don’t know who I really am anymore. I’ve had several changes in personality, temperament, and even in my perspective of things. I now feel that the experience I’ve accumulated over the years is making me closed-minded about certain things.

I’ve become more and more opinionated about stuff. And I’m not afraid of letting other people know about what I think, or even care about what they think. I used to care alot about what others were thinking. And if I wanted to, I could even hear the thoughts of others in the vicinity. It took a while before I was able to focus more on myself than on others.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t care about others anymore. It’s just that I’ve learned to prioritize myself first. You can call me selfish, but thanks to that, I’ve become a better person.

I’m no longer afraid of letting my moods swing. I really am a moody person, and I’ve learned to accept that. It can rub people the wrong way, but that’s who I really am.

There are things that I won’t be changing, because I’m happy with them. It defines who I am. Even undergoing several changes, these certain traits of mine assure me that I am me, and not someone else.

For instance, I once asked someone if I should lower my expectations when it comes to work or maintain the status quo. And the reply I get was simple: by setting high expectations, I help the people around me to improve themselves by pushing the limits. Not everybody will get it, but those that do survive the experience will benefit from it. I’ve thought about it for a while, and decided to keep this trait of mine.

Change is the only thing constant. It is both a blessing and a curse. Make it work for you, and life is a piece of cake.